when lambda's making her way through the hotel on this fine friday, she might hear a disturbing set of noises coming from behind the doors of the room everyone hung out in in curfew.
mainly, there's a sharp, violent crack of electricity, and then a mess of extremely jumbled thoughts - so jumbled together that they're almost impossible to fully understand, just layered voices and sounds. what sticks out, though, is this.
[ it's about what she expects. she's no stranger to despair after losing a loved one. she's lived that life once before. there was a difference between the situation here and what she had, though, but she suspects fei du won't be able to hear for a while.
[ I SURE DIDNT me clawing desperately at having pcs today
the door is open! someone was very distracted.
the sight in the room is just - fei du, standing there, shoulders hunched at his ears, phone thrown on the floor. he's got his hand clutched in the bare front of his shirt, hand splayed flat on his chest - electricity crackles off of his fingers, like he was trying, he was trying -
worse than that, he's breathing ragged and staring into the distance, dissociating out of his mind, like he's three seconds from a panic attack or trying to desperately wrangle his thoughts into place or both, but his brain's awful thoughts play back a loop of those same noises, the snatched lyrics of a familiar song, the discordant notes of whatever was playing when wenzhou's announcement went through, no, work, god damn it, come on - ]
[ unfortunately, lambda isn't the most sensitive or delicate of people and she is nowhere near qualified to be a therapist to know how to approach this softly, so she does what she thinks is best.
she walks up to him and kicks (or tries to ) his hand. ]
this would probably fucking break his hand if it was at full strength. thankfully it is not. it is, however, sharp, and harsh, and startling, and he sucks in a breath, reacting out of sheer instinct to the pain.
it's good, actually. fei du hates pain, hates hurting, but in situations like these, pain is crisp and sharp and reminds him he does exist as a part of this universe. he blinks, at lambda, head whipping up to stare at her, and he just looks... like a wreck, really, startled and shaken and like a baby animal instead of a person.
just stunned? stunned enough that his thoughts very temporarily silence while he holds his hand like a dumbass. ]
You're allowed to grieve, but don't be stupid about it.
[ it's almost callous, the way she's saying it, but if his shocks aren't doing anything for him where they have before, what point is there other than to keep him lost?
she knows how much despair can drown a person, but he's still got the weekend to get through. ]
You will see him. You might hate how or why, but you'll see him soon.
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w6, friday.
well.
when lambda's making her way through the hotel on this fine friday, she might hear a disturbing set of noises coming from behind the doors of the room everyone hung out in in curfew.
mainly, there's a sharp, violent crack of electricity, and then a mess of extremely jumbled thoughts - so jumbled together that they're almost impossible to fully understand, just layered voices and sounds. what sticks out, though, is this.
No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no ]
no subject
fei du. she knocks on the door.
she doesn't expect a response. ]
no subject
there's more static, and then you raise me up no it wasn't supposed to be like this it was - you raise no no work work work
and then it's followed by
a violent crack of electricity? hmm
bad ]
no subject
she's going to open the door. ]
no subject
the door is open! someone was very distracted.
the sight in the room is just - fei du, standing there, shoulders hunched at his ears, phone thrown on the floor. he's got his hand clutched in the bare front of his shirt, hand splayed flat on his chest - electricity crackles off of his fingers, like he was trying, he was trying -
worse than that, he's breathing ragged and staring into the distance, dissociating out of his mind, like he's three seconds from a panic attack or trying to desperately wrangle his thoughts into place or both, but his brain's awful thoughts play back a loop of those same noises, the snatched lyrics of a familiar song, the discordant notes of whatever was playing when wenzhou's announcement went through, no, work, god damn it, come on - ]
no subject
she walks up to him and kicks (or tries to ) his hand. ]
You're already feeling, idiot.
no subject
this would probably fucking break his hand if it was at full strength. thankfully it is not. it is, however, sharp, and harsh, and startling, and he sucks in a breath, reacting out of sheer instinct to the pain.
it's good, actually. fei du hates pain, hates hurting, but in situations like these, pain is crisp and sharp and reminds him he does exist as a part of this universe. he blinks, at lambda, head whipping up to stare at her, and he just looks... like a wreck, really, startled and shaken and like a baby animal instead of a person.
just stunned? stunned enough that his thoughts very temporarily silence while he holds his hand like a dumbass. ]
no subject
[ it's almost callous, the way she's saying it, but if his shocks aren't doing anything for him where they have before, what point is there other than to keep him lost?
she knows how much despair can drown a person, but he's still got the weekend to get through. ]
You will see him. You might hate how or why, but you'll see him soon.