[he thinks of lambda's voice in that hut. death in one place vs another. disease or starvation vs a chance to grasp something else, something the scenario would have never given her.
he's not a fool. he knows why d saw leon and chris, why rin saw haru and hikari -- why shenhe saw nahri and wolfwood. lambda and his brother were his burdens, meant to make him falter. his eyes hone in on the sliver of Lambda's neck that he can see (IS SHE WEARING THE PARKA ARA?)]
You would have made me fight for it. [if it was really her, if she wasn't a child assigned to suffer] But I did. All it took was one stroke.
I used me to do it -- my weapon. I was connected to it. I can still feel you even now.
[ we can say she's wearing the parka for this thread. she's wearing it over this. they really touken ranbu-fied this cyoa, huh. made them touken danshi and everything.
hearing him talk like that, like the weapon is him startles her a little. it makes her look up at him more closely and see where he's looking.
instead of answering with words, she closes the distance between them even more. she slides her arms down to circle him in a loose embrace. ]
[he freezes, stopping mid-speak at her embrace. don't, he thinks.]
...I didn't want to break you.
[not after seeing that memory, not after how lambda had died here. but more than that,]
I didn't want to kill you.
[he's a child again in the mountains, shaking hands pressed against a soft throat. he made it quick then. but it only happened because he let it happen, like he did with lambda. every action had a choice. he could say it was for the mission but he still did it. he thought he could kill anyone. he wasn't supposed to ever get close again. and yet, and yet, he still did, and for what?
[ her arms wind around him even tighter, and she presses herself against him, so he can feel that she's here. she's not broken. she may be dead, but she isn't dead because of him. ]
I know you didn't. I know you didn't want to, and I know you chose to do it anyway.
[ she won't tell him it wasn't. she won't lie to him about this. ]
It was a mercy of that girl, but it wasn't a mercy for you. It's okay to care, Rang. It's okay that you didn't want to but you did it anyway.
It doesn't make it hurt less. I don't think it ever will, but it's okay.
[ it's possible she could feel differently if she felt like it was really here, but she's has too many different existences to not be able to separate herself when she needs to. ]
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no subject
he's not a fool. he knows why d saw leon and chris, why rin saw haru and hikari -- why shenhe saw nahri and wolfwood. lambda and his brother were his burdens, meant to make him falter. his eyes hone in on the sliver of Lambda's neck that he can see (IS SHE WEARING THE PARKA ARA?)]
You would have made me fight for it. [if it was really her, if she wasn't a child assigned to suffer] But I did. All it took was one stroke.
I used me to do it -- my weapon. I was connected to it. I can still feel you even now.
[lambda's blood coating every one of his blades,]
no subject
hearing him talk like that, like the weapon is him startles her a little. it makes her look up at him more closely and see where he's looking.
instead of answering with words, she closes the distance between them even more. she slides her arms down to circle him in a loose embrace. ]
no subject
...I didn't want to break you.
[not after seeing that memory, not after how lambda had died here. but more than that,]
I didn't want to kill you.
[he's a child again in the mountains, shaking hands pressed against a soft throat. he made it quick then. but it only happened because he let it happen, like he did with lambda. every action had a choice. he could say it was for the mission but he still did it. he thought he could kill anyone. he wasn't supposed to ever get close again. and yet, and yet, he still did, and for what?
just more blood. just more suffering.]
no subject
I know you didn't. I know you didn't want to, and I know you chose to do it anyway.
[ she won't tell him it wasn't. she won't lie to him about this. ]
It was a mercy of that girl, but it wasn't a mercy for you. It's okay to care, Rang. It's okay that you didn't want to but you did it anyway.
It doesn't make it hurt less. I don't think it ever will, but it's okay.
[ it's possible she could feel differently if she felt like it was really here, but she's has too many different existences to not be able to separate herself when she needs to. ]