[ she thinks a love defined and contained by a story is too constraining. even living it, she thought so, but what else could she do within her story, if she wanted a chance to be cured? she thinks living a story is as horrible as spirits from her world being warped by their fame.
she closes her eyes when he brings the conversation back to her and tries to sound as detached as possible. ]
The first time, in the first life, she had been shot by a hunter and refused to leave the lake to search for love anymore. In the second, she.... she no longer was there, for some reason, or I no longer had memories of her in that second life even though I still remembered her from the first life, and I didn't want that. I couldn't have that, so.... when we finally met Baba Yaga, I wanted her to have a happy ending when she lost her chance to.
[ it wouldn't do if they were both unhappy. if only one of them could be.... why wouldn't she try for it? ]
[ he knows she might disagree, or say something in argument, but everything she’s ever actually done - at least what he’s seen, has been kind. pragmatism doesn’t necessarily mean discarding everything soft and fragile. ]
[ there is genuine surprise to hear him call her that, and it makes her feel a bit complicated, but he is right. she does disagree. she is a loving person, but kindness is something she attributes to others. ]
I called you barely better than pathetic the other day.
[ she's trying to keep this light. ]
It's not a choice I'm unused to making. [ ... ] I think.
[ yes but calling him pathetic and being sorta mean its princess behavior and very familiar and kind of comforting. It’s definitely the kind of thing Elody would put bluntly too.]
Oh, I don’t know. You don’t mince words and I don’t mind hearing it. Maybe I’ve been being a bit pathetic?
[ are all princesses mean in neverafter? good for them! ]
Are you a masochist, Gerard?
[ she's just wondering. ]
... How do you keep your story straight? If you have so many different versions.
[ she has experience with separate spiritual incarnations and different sets of memories, but those are easier to separate than having multiple versions of a story flipping through her mind right now. ]
Well-- I'm not sure I do, is the real answer. Maybe they're all me, in some way, so trying to pick out which story is which isn't worth it in the end. I know what matters.
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no subject
she closes her eyes when he brings the conversation back to her and tries to sound as detached as possible. ]
The first time, in the first life, she had been shot by a hunter and refused to leave the lake to search for love anymore. In the second, she.... she no longer was there, for some reason, or I no longer had memories of her in that second life even though I still remembered her from the first life, and I didn't want that. I couldn't have that, so.... when we finally met Baba Yaga, I wanted her to have a happy ending when she lost her chance to.
[ it wouldn't do if they were both unhappy. if only one of them could be.... why wouldn't she try for it? ]
no subject
[ he knows she might disagree, or say something in argument, but everything she’s ever actually done - at least what he’s seen, has been kind. pragmatism doesn’t necessarily mean discarding everything soft and fragile. ]
And I’m sorry, that you had to make that choice.
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I called you barely better than pathetic the other day.
[ she's trying to keep this light. ]
It's not a choice I'm unused to making. [ ... ] I think.
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Oh, I don’t know. You don’t mince words and I don’t mind hearing it. Maybe I’ve been being a bit pathetic?
[ he will cop to that. ]
You think?
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Are you a masochist, Gerard?
[ she's just wondering. ]
... How do you keep your story straight? If you have so many different versions.
[ she has experience with separate spiritual incarnations and different sets of memories, but those are easier to separate than having multiple versions of a story flipping through her mind right now. ]
no subject
No!
[ maybe. ]
Well-- I'm not sure I do, is the real answer. Maybe they're all me, in some way, so trying to pick out which story is which isn't worth it in the end. I know what matters.
no subject
That might be the most profound thing I've heard from you. I can't say I disagree with that take.