alex catchall

[diluvian]

the best satan to ever exist

Comments

[camena]

... No, just the one invitation.

It's part of why Teyvat is the only place I'm thinking about this much. And I know Nahida could help us for a while, so that'd help. I think it's not so much about what we'd get, it's more about what I'd have to leave behind.

[diluvian]

[ there's faint curiosity. ]

What are you leaving behind?

[camena]

The basic stuff. My friends. My mom. Everyone I know. My home. All of Michael's stuff.

[diluvian]

What's the alternative? If you don't leave all that behind, what happens?

[camena]

Not... exactly sure. I'm in a timeloop and I don't really know how to get out. And I don't remember the previous loops. But things are changing, so maybe I could get out... eventually?

So it—it might still be leaving it behind. In a way. Parts of it. I'm aware that makes this stupid.

[diluvian]

This week mustn't have been very fun for you.

[ if there's timeloop experience.... or trauma? even if alex doesn't remember it all. ]

There are different things you leave behind whenever you timeloop. I know firsthand, too. I don't think you'll get any kind of perfect ending. [ even if they managed to save ruby today somehow, she would still think this. ] But you can at least aim for something you won't regret with what you know.

Think selfishly.

[ lambda isn't exactly a bastion for being good and kind. ]

[camena]

... None of the weeks here have been very fun. [ people were always dying and she went on a timeloop cyoa and murder... is bad. but she does kind of laugh weakly. ] You too? It's like... most of us here have looped before.

[ ... ]

I—can't. I can't be selfish about this.

[diluvian]

[ lambda wonders if dying would have helped alex out. a number of the living has made her think this. ]

It was a one time thing, but outside of it, I'm not new to time travel in general even if it's not looping. History is stupidly delicate.

[ but in a slightly different way from swords. ]

You can. You simply don't want to be, which is fine. It is your choice to make.

[ whether or not she wants to be selfish. ultimately, it sounds like alex has to sacrifice something. ]

[camena]

[ it... definitely would have helped, yes. ]

Huh. More time stuff. I really didn't realize how pervasive it'd be when we first got here.

... Honestly, I don't know whether to call it selfish or not. Priorities aren't always that simple to label.

[diluvian]

They're not, but they are what's important to you, whatever the reason. Just make a decision you won't regret.

[ that's the bare minimum anyone can do, she thinks. ]